Tune in Tonight by Kevin McDonough

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• WHAT WILL TV LOOK LIKE IN FIVE YEARS?

  While some wonder which shows will return next fall, the special "Stay Tuned: The Future of TV" (9 p.m., CNBC) takes a longer view. Hosted by Julia Boorstin, it presents interviews with media giants about the evolution of entertainment, advertising and media.

  While new sets allow viewers to connect their personal computers to TV monitors, it's clear that this convergence is in its infancy. Will the next big step come from a fancy new gadget introduced by a company like Apple? Or some new must-see offering from a place like YouTube?

  The future may be uncertain, but we do know the current situation is confusing and expensive. Consumers are paying more than ever for their cable bill. Many of these people also pay fees for broadband and for one or several phone services. Why not combine them and dispense with several bills?

  At a time when cable (or satellite) fees have never been higher, these services have never seemed more dispensable or replaceable. Sadly, but not unexpectedly, many cable networks have responded to the threat of lost viewers not by creating "must-see" offerings, but by circling the creative wagons with mindlessly derivative and unoriginal programming.

  How else to explain the sheer number of copycat series about bidding on storage lockers? About Italian-American stereotypes behaving badly, or redneck stereotypes falling into swamps? About cooking competitions erupting in obscene tirades? Once-smart networks like A&E, History and National Geographic have doubled down on stupidity, superstition and the apocalyptic paranoia of doomsday preparation spectacles. Then there's the predictably sad spotlight on sideshow behavior (toddler beauty pageants, spectacularly obese people, polygamy and tattoo parlors). Or, as I like to call it, the TLC schedule.

  "Stay Tuned" offers no crystal-ball answers. But asking folks to fork over $100 a month in a weak economy to watch 50 variations on "Storage Wars" is not a sustainable business model. I'm not yet sure if cable television is in the process of committing suicide, or begging us to put it out of its misery.

  -- Martha Stewart guest-stars on the season finale of "2 Broke Girls" (8 p.m., CBS, TV-14). The most popular new comedy of the season, "Broke" has raised critical eyebrows with its brazen and often witless vulgarity.

  -- "24/7 Wild" (9 p.m., National Geographic Wild) documents more than 150 species -- presented in real time -- in their natural habitat.

  TONIGHT'S OTHER HIGHLIGHTS

  -- The final four perform and compete on "The Voice" (8 p.m., NBC).

  -- Brennan can't help but meddle on the set of the movie adaptation of her life on "Bones" (8 p.m., Fox, TV-14).

  -- An ailing fellow doctor thinks he knows too much to be diagnosed on "House" (9 p.m., Fox, TV-14). Peter Weller guest-stars and directs the episode.

  -- "Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations" (9 p.m., Travel) visits a chefs conference in Japan.

  -- A secret best kept on "Make It or Break It" (9 p.m., ABC Family).

  -- Wo Fat and McGarrett become targets of the same organization on "Hawaii Five-O" (10 p.m., CBS, TV-14).

  -- Out-of-town previews don't go smoothly on "Smash" (10 p.m., NBC, TV-14).

  -- Beckett pursues her attacker on "Castle" (10 p.m., ABC, TV-PG).

  CULT CHOICE

  A social worker infiltrates a gang of delinquents in the 1956 drama "Crime in the Streets" (8 p.m., TCM), starring James Whitmore, Sal Mineo and Mark Rydell.

  SERIES NOTES

  "Dancing With the Stars" (8 p.m., ABC, TV-PG) ... Serena pretends to be Blair on "Gossip Girl" (8 p.m., CW, TV-14) ... Alan leaves the hospital on "Two and a Half Men" (9 p.m., CBS, TV-14) ... Zoe's dad (Gary Cole) returns on "Hart of Dixie" (9 p.m., CW, TV-14) ... The gang makes a shambles of the wedding rehearsal on "Mike & Molly" (9:30 p.m., CBS, TV-14).

  LATE NIGHT

  Admiral General Aladeen (Sacha Baron Cohen) is scheduled on "The Daily Show With Jon Stewart" (11 p.m., Comedy Central) ... Metta World Peace, Matt Walsh and the Lumineers appear on "Conan" (11 p.m., TBS) ... James Van Der Beek, Jen Kirkman, Mo Mandel and Brad Wollack are booked on "Chelsea Lately" (11 p.m., E!) ... Andy Cohen sits down on "The Colbert Report" (11:30 p.m., Comedy Central).

  Phil McGraw, Ariel Tweto and Spiritualized appear on "Late Show With David Letterman" (11:35 p.m., CBS) ... Jay Leno welcomes Michelle Pfeiffer, Bear Grylls and Snow Patrol on "The Tonight Show" (11:35 p.m., NBC) ... Kristen Stewart, Chloe Grace Moretz and B.o.B. appear on "Jimmy Kimmel Live" (midnight, ABC).

  Jennifer Connelly and Brian Wilson, Mike Love and the Beach Boys visit "Late Night With Jimmy Fallon" (12:35 a.m., NBC) ... Craig Ferguson hosts Poppy Montgomery and Steve Guttenberg on "The Late Late Show" (12:35 a.m., CBS).

  ---

  COPYRIGHT 2012 UNITED FEATURE SYNDICATE

  published Monday, May 07, 2012

  THE 'VOICE' AND SEVERAL NEW SHOWS LIMP TO THE FINISH LINE

  -- A winner emerges on the two-hour finale of "The Voice" (9 p.m., NBC, TV-PG). For a moment, it looked like this series might just overtake "American Idol" as America's favorite singing competition, but its audience dwindled as the season progressed.

  Talent shows are all about finding the next new star -- until their finales, when it's time for well-established stars to crowd the stage. Look out for Justin Bieber, Flo Rida, Lady Antebellum and Daryl Hall and John Oates. I guess the name Hall & Oates was taken.

  -- "New Girl" (9 p.m., Fox, TV-14) also ends its first season. The roommate comedy wraps up freshman year with a moving-day episode. One of the more well-received comedies of the year, "Girl" enchanted critics and viewers with Zooey Deschanel's sweet, goofy, nerd routine.

  The real mystery was how long it could last. Ratings for "Girl" have steadily declined. It didn't help that the series seemed to vanish for weeks on end when it was first broadcast. It also airs against "Dancing With the Stars" and "NCIS: Los Angeles," two established series. All the same, "Girl" proved that you could make a comedy about young 20-somethings and not dwell entirely on vulgarity ("2 Broke Girls" on CBS) or brittle cruelty ("Don't Trust the B---- in Apt. 23" on ABC). Congratulations to Fox for airing the most humane new network comedy of the year.

  -- Not even a lead-in from the two "NCIS" ratings machines did much to drive viewers to "Unforgettable" (10 p.m., CBS, TV-14). This police procedural about a woman blessed (or perhaps cursed) with an amazing memory ends its first season with Carrie thinking she's found her sister's killer.

  CBS renewed most of its shows some months back. "Unforgettable" was not on the list. That doesn't mean it has been canceled. But if it does return, look for it to lose its plum spot and migrate to Friday nights, where shows like this are put out to pasture.

  -- "Last Man Standing" (8 p.m., ABC, TV-PG) also wraps up its first season. This Tim Allen-Nancy Travis punch line-driven comedy often seems like a throwback to the mid-1990s, when "Home Improvement" ruled the roost. "Last" is the lone survivor of a weird experiment ABC conducted this year, broadcasting several guy-oriented comedies as if to contradict the widely held assumption that the network had dispensed with male viewers entirely.

  For the record, the others were the short-lived and not that bad "Man Up!" as well as "Work It!" Remember that one? A "comedy" about desperate, unemployed guys who dress as women to score jobs? It debuted on Jan. 3 and all but ended my search for the worst new show of 2012.

  -- TV-themed DVDs available today include "Cold War: The Complete Series," a 24-episode documentary produced for CNN in 1998 and narrated by Kenneth Branagh.

  TONIGHT'S OTHER HIGHLIGHTS

  -- Retailers set the agenda on "Fashion Star" (8 p.m., NBC, TV-PG).

  -- Brittany makes entirely too much of the prom on "Glee" (8 p.m., Fox, TV-14).

  -- "Frontline" (10 p.m., PBS, check local listings) repeats "Murdoch's Scandal," a look at the unfolding U.K. press scandal.

  -- Raquel gets bad news from her agent on "The L.A. Complex" (9 p.m., CW, TV-14).

  CULT CHOICE

  Fans of "Avengers"-like superhero collaborations should not miss the 2007 adventure "Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer" (9 p.m., Fox Movie Channel).

  SERIES NOTES

  Strange dental work puts the team in danger on "NCIS" (8 p.m., CBS, TV-PG) ... Nick Carter guest-stars on "90210" (8 p.m., CW, TV-14) ... Hurricane warnings on "Cougar Town" (8:30 p.m., ABC, TV-14).

  Spies in the suburbs on "NCIS: Los Angeles" (9 p.m., CBS, TV-14) ... Befriending the landlord on "New Girl" (9:30 p.m., Fox, r, TV-14) ... Pete makes a fateful decision on "Private Practice" (10 p.m., ABC, TV-14).

  LATE NIGHT

  Ambassador Ivo Daalder is scheduled on "The Daily Show With Jon Stewart" (11 p.m., Comedy Central) ... Piers Morgan, Ben Falcone and Ed Sheeran appear on "Conan" (11 p.m., TBS) ... Morgan Spurlock, Ross Mathews, Heather McDonald and Jo Koy are booked on "Chelsea Lately" (11 p.m., E!) ... Michelle Alexander sits down on "The Colbert Report" (11:30 p.m., Comedy Central).

  Jim Parsons and Macy Gray appear on "Late Show With David Letterman" (11:35 p.m., CBS) ... Jay Leno welcomes former Sen. Rick Santorum, Taylor Kitsch, B.o.B. and O.A.R. on "The Tonight Show" (11:35 p.m., NBC) ... Johnny Depp, Casey Wilson and Silversun Pickups appear on "Jimmy Kimmel Live" (midnight, ABC).

  Cameron Diaz, Michael Phelps and Of Monsters and Men visit "Late Night With Jimmy Fallon" (12:35 a.m., NBC) ... Craig Ferguson hosts Steven Tyler on "The Late Late Show" (12:35 a.m., CBS).

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  (Kevin McDonough can be reached at kevin.tvguy@gmail.com.)

  ---

  COPYRIGHT 2012 UNITED FEATURE SYNDICATE

  published Tuesday, May 08, 2012

  IS JOSHUA LEDET TOO GOOD TO WIN 'IDOL'?

  -- Where would "American Idol" (8 p.m., Fox, TV-PG) be without platitudes and hyperbole? Last week, Randy Jackson called Joshua Ledet one of the best "Idol" performers ever. Not to be outdone, Jennifer Lopez anointed him the greatest singing talent of the past half-century! And Steven Tyler, doing his best impression of a doddering, eccentric uncle in the attic, could only nod in agreement.

  For Ledet, the overpraise served only to remind "Idol" watchers that the aura of superiority and inevitability can be the kiss of death. The show's voters have often punished talent too good to win "Idol." If you don't believe me, ask Adam Lambert, Chris Daughtry or Jennifer Hudson.

  -- Like "The Big Chill," the drama "White Heat" (10 p.m., BBC America) uses the death of a friend to reacquaint a circle of friends that formed in the turbulent 1960s.

  But unlike that "feel good" movie, "Heat" is not a funeral for a sensibility. It's a story spanning five decades and a multitude of characters, set against the youthful idealism, union strife and IRA violence of the 1970s, Margaret Thatcher's strident leadership of the 1980s, Tony Blair's era of affluence during the late 1990s and 2000s and the age of global terror that brings us to the present day.

  The action bounces back and forth in time, mixing period footage with scenes of unfolding melodrama.

  -- In case you hadn't noticed, NBC axed the largely unwatched "Best Friends Forever." In its place, look for an hour of pranks on "Betty White's Off Their Rockers" (8 p.m. and 8:30 p.m., TV-14).

  -- Based on a popular French film comedy, the 1987 hit "Three Men and a Baby" (8 p.m., WE) featured big stars who are still active on the small screen.

  Ted Danson's first season on CBS' "CSI" concludes tonight on the show's 12th season finale (10 p.m., TV-14). Tom Selleck stars as the New York police commissioner on CBS' "Blue Bloods," which ends its second season on Friday. It will come back for a third. Selleck returns to another law and order character in the TV drama "Jesse Stone: Benefit of the Doubt," airing on CBS on May 20. Nancy Travis, who was also seen in "Baby," stars with Tim Allen on "Last Man Standing" on ABC.

  Steve Guttenberg, the third man in "Baby," has been less evident on TV of late. He starred in a 2005 TV remake of "The Poseidon Adventure" and participated on "Dancing With the Stars" in spring 2008.

  Guttenberg was also mentioned in a classic 1995 episode of "The Simpsons" spoofing the rituals of the Freemasons and the conspiracy theories that have surrounded the secret society. It's alleged (in a song, no less) that only the "Stonecutters" and their awesome secret powers could have made Steve Guttenberg a star.

  TONIGHT'S OTHER HIGHLIGHTS

  -- Brick finds a bad luck charm on "The Middle" (8 p.m., ABC, TV-PG).

  -- "Nature" (8 p.m., PBS, check local listings) follows two white lion cubs in South Africa during their vulnerable, formative years.

  -- A challenging trip to Disneyland on "Modern Family" (9 p.m., ABC, TV-PG).

  -- "NOVA" (9 p.m., PBS, r) examines killer tornadoes.

  -- Amanda/Emily's 10-year plan revealed on "Revenge" (10 p.m., ABC, TV-PG).

  CULT CHOICE

  Timothy Hutton stars in the 1993 adaptation of Stephen King's horror novel "The Dark Half" (8 p.m., Ovation).

  SERIES NOTES

  "Survivor" (8 p.m., CBS, TV-PG) ... Trips to Macau and Hong Kong on "America's Next Top Model" (8 p.m., r, and 9 p.m., CW, TV-PG) ... Life with Eden on "Suburgatory" (8:30 p.m., ABC, TV-PG).

  A textbook case, 20 years in the making, on "Criminal Minds" (9 p.m., CBS, TV-14) ... "Rock Center With Brian Williams" (9 p.m., NBC) ... June considers a new income stream on "Don't Trust the B---- in Apartment 23" (9:30 p.m., ABC, TV-14) ... A hate crime looms large on "Law & Order: Special Victims Unit" (10 p.m., NBC, TV-14).

  LATE NIGHT

  Dr. John R. Hall is scheduled on "The Daily Show With Jon Stewart" (11 p.m., Comedy Central) ... Joel McHale, Nina Dobrev and Reggie Watts appear on "Conan" (11 p.m., TBS) ... Ian Somerhalder, John Caparulo, Rachel Feinstein and Josh Wolf are booked on "Chelsea Lately" (11 p.m., E!) ... Anna Wintour sits down on "The Colbert Report" (11:30 p.m., Comedy Central).

  Eva Longoria, Tom Dreesen and Florence and the Machine appear on "Late Show With David Letterman" (11:35 p.m., CBS) ... Jay Leno welcomes Alison Brie on "The Tonight Show" (11:35 p.m., NBC) ... Steve Harvey, Dev Patel and Glenn Frey appear on "Jimmy Kimmel Live" (midnight, ABC).

  Howard Stern, Brooklyn Decker and Giada De Laurentiis visit "Late Night With Jimmy Fallon" (12:35 a.m., NBC) ... Craig Ferguson hosts Jenna Fischer and Danny Huston on "The Late Late Show" (12:35 a.m., CBS).

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  (Kevin McDonough can be reached at kevin.tvguy@gmail.com.)

  ---

  COPYRIGHT 2012 UNITED FEATURE SYNDICATE

  published Wednesday, May 09, 2012

  SEASON FINALES INCLUDE 'BIG BANG,' 'SECRET CIRCLE'

  -- Seasons end for five series tonight. Howard and Bernadette rearrange their wedding vows to make way for a NASA space launch as "The Big Bang Theory" (8 p.m., CBS, TV-PG) wraps up its fifth season.

  Jeremy makes a fateful decision on the third season finale of "The Vampire Diaries" (8 p.m., CW, TV-14), already renewed for another season. Dark magic emerges on the first season-ender for "The Secret Circle" (9 p.m., CW, TV-14). The fate of this spell-casting melodrama has yet to be determined. But "Circle" is not among the lowest-rated series on CW, where the threshold for success and survival is pretty minimal.

  I've long given up predicting winners and losers on this network. I never watched "One Tree Hill," and it ran for roughly a decade. For what it's worth, my favorite new CW shows this season have been "Ringer" and "The L.A. Complex," and they're among the least watched of the network's offerings. Don't go looking for the CW to invite me to any focus groups.

  "The Office" (9 p.m., NBC, TV-14) ends its eighth season with Andy bent on a corporate coup. Even big fans of this series know it has gone on for at least two seasons too long. I admire James Spader's peculiar comic audacity. His character, Robert California, is just as incompetent as Steve Carell's departed Michael Scott, but without the demented warmth or obvious desperation. California is sweaty, paunchy and too arrogant to know or care that he's in over his head. Some of us have had bosses like California, so maybe that's why I find this year's "Office" more terrifying than entertaining.

  CBS has canceled several series that had far higher ratings than "The Office." But given NBC's lack of hits, we'll probably be returning to Scranton next fall.

  "Parks and Recreation" (9:30 p.m., NBC, TV-PG) also concludes tonight, with an election night drama. This odd documentary-style comedy is not for every taste, but it has steadily improved over the years, and it has succeeded in transcending the stardom of its lead. It never became merely "The Amy Poehler Show" and, like many smart comedies, has become a showcase for other talents -- including Nick Offerman as the gruff Ron Swanson and Aubrey Plaza, whose responsibility-evading April projects a hilariously blank disdain for humanity. I'm no soothsayer, but I'd predict a return for "Parks" as well.

  -- "Independent Lens" (10 p.m., PBS, check local listings) presents "Summer Pastures," a documentary profile of nomadic Tibetan herders whose ancient way of life is threatened by personal illness and galloping modernity.

  The scenes shot in the grasslands look as if they could have taken place in the 18th century. But when the herders travel to local towns shot through with 21st-century Chinese business practices, one half expects to encounter the cantina band from "Star Wars." This breathtaking and occasionally heartbreaking film takes you places you've most likely never been.

  As always, the place for "Independent Lens" on your local PBS schedule may be in flux. Please check local listings. This film is worth the extra effort to find.

  TONIGHT'S OTHER HIGHLIGHTS

  -- Mandatory therapy on "Community" (8 p.m., NBC, TV-PG).

  -- A contestant goes home on "American Idol" (8 p.m., Fox, TV-PG).

  -- Emotions roil as Becca tries to flee the continent on "Missing" (8 p.m., ABC, TV-14).

  -- A conspiracy from Finch's past looms large on "Person of Interest" (9 p.m., CBS, TV-14).

  -- A Brazilian street musician enchants a beautiful woman on "Touch" (9 p.m., Fox, TV-PG).

  -- Career moves and other lunges on "Grey's Anatomy" (9 p.m., ABC, TV-14).

  -- A missive from Red John marks a dark anniversary on "The Mentalist" (10 p.m., CBS, TV-14).

  -- A disturbing dream may strand our hero in only one "reality" on "Awake" (10 p.m., NBC, TV-14).

  -- Gideon gives Amanda's story a once-over on "Scandal" (10 p.m., ABC, TV-14).

  CULT CHOICE

  A just man takes on urban corruption in the 1955 drama "The Phenix City Story" (8 p.m., TCM).

  SERIES NOTES

  "30 Rock" (8:30 p.m., NBC, TV-14) ... Audrey preps for a blessed event on "Rules of Engagement" (8:30 p.m., CBS, TV-PG).

  LATE NIGHT

  Robert Caro is scheduled on "The Daily Show With Jon Stewart" (11 p.m., Comedy Central) ... Tom Selleck, Zosia Mamet and the Wombats appear on "Conan" (11 p.m., TBS) ... Chris Franjola, Loni Love and Greg Fitzsimmons are booked on "Chelsea Lately" (11 p.m., E!) ... Francis Collins sits down on "The Colbert Report" (11:30 p.m., Comedy Central).

  Kid scientists, Elizabeth Banks and Edward Sharpe & the Magnetic Zeros appear on "Late Show With David Letterman" (11:35 p.m., CBS) ... Jay Leno welcomes Howie Mandel, Vinny Guadagnino and Sara Watkins on "The Tonight Show" (11:35 p.m., NBC) ... Phil McGraw and Carrie Underwood appear on "Jimmy Kimmel Live" (midnight, ABC).

  Will Ferrell, Ellie Kemper and Awolnation visit "Late Night With Jimmy Fallon" (12:35 a.m., NBC) ... Craig Ferguson hosts Christiane Amanpour and Anna Kendrick on "The Late Late Show" (12:35 a.m., CBS).

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  COPYRIGHT 2012 UNITED FEATURE SYNDICATE

  published Thursday, May 10, 2012

  'COMMON LAW' FOLLOWS USA PLAYBOOK

  Take the buddy-cop "bromance" genre, add a few too-cute gimmicks and you have "Common Law" (10 p.m., USA, TV-PG).

  Travis (Michael Ealy) and Wes (Warren Kole) may look like models, but they're really homicide detectives. And they must be really good detectives, because their tough-as-nails boss, Captain Sutton (Jack McGee), decides to send them to couples counseling after they break into a fight that nearly ends in gunfire.

  Why couples counseling and not, say, reassignment to other partners? Or other departments? Or other lines of work? Because Sutton is a recent graduate of such therapy, and it's done wonders for his marriage and love life. And he's not afraid to talk about it. Yes, it's that kind of show. Did I mention that the show opens with a quote from Dr. Phil?

  The gang at USA has gone to the same well at least once too often. As bickering man-boys, Wes and Travis have nothing on Shawn and Gus from "Psych," and the therapeutic gimmick is hardly an improvement on USA's "Necessary Roughness." And somebody must love how Kate from "Fairly Legal" lives on a houseboat. These guys have similarly unorthodox dwellings. The recently divorced Wes stays in a hotel so he can haunt the bar. And Travis beds down in some kind of galvanized steel trailer.

  Quirks cannot distract us from the show's central problem. Wes and Travis share little chemistry and look like they're going through the motions. Not like an old (un)married couple, but like two good-looking actors saddled with a less-than-believable script.

  It also doesn't help that "Common Law" debuts in the midst of the second season of "Sherlock" on PBS, a truly terrific show about crime fighting's original "odd couple."

  TONIGHT'S SEASON FINALES

  -- The head of an engineering firm graduates to "Undercover Boss" (8 p.m., CBS, TV-PG).

  -- Walter's dying father wants him to locate an old lover on "The Finder" (8 p.m., Fox, TV-14). I don't think there's much chance that Walt can locate a spot on next fall's schedule for "The Finder."

  -- After taking a bullet, Mac enters a twilight world between life and death on "CSI: NY" (9 p.m., CBS, TV-14). This sets up a perfect cliffhanger for a drama that could wrap up tonight. Produced by Jerry Bruckheimer, "CSI" shows are expensive to produce. The original has been renewed. The fates of "NY" and "Miami" remain undetermined, and, like Mac, hover in TV limbo.

  -- A catastrophe looms on "Fringe" (9 p.m., Fox, TV-14). This show will return next season for a final 13-episode run.

  -- Biological terror threatens New York on "Blue Bloods" (10 p.m., CBS, TV-14), which will return for a third season.

  TONIGHT'S OTHER HIGHLIGHTS

  -- Jason Sudeikis explores his family's legacy on "Who Do You Think You Are?" (8 p.m., NBC, TV-PG).

  -- A lovesick cook (Dudley Moore) makes a pact with the devil (Peter Cook) in the 1967 comedy "Bedazzled" (8 p.m., TCM).

  -- A trip to Big Sur on "Jennie Garth: A Little Bit Country" (9 p.m., CMT).

  -- A team from the Brigitte Bardot lectures locals on their wayward ways on "Whale Wars: Viking Shores" (9 p.m., Animal Planet).

  -- Grisly discoveries point to evidence of the legendary Bigfoot on "Grimm" (9 p.m., NBC, TV-14).

  -- Haunted by a soggy spirit on "The Dead Files" (10 p.m., Travel, TV-PG).

  -- A high-stakes boxing match overshadows Vera's dashed hopes on "Magic City" (10 p.m., Starz, TV-MA).

  -- "The Half Hour" (11 p.m., Comedy Central) offers a showcase for stand-up talent. First up: Rory Scovel.

  CULT CHOICE

  Country life is not relaxing for one newcomer in the 1971 shocker "Let's Scare Jessica to Death" (2 a.m., TCM).

  SERIES NOTES

  The son of a martial artist has a great notion on "Shark Tank" (8 p.m., ABC, TV-PG) ... Percy threatens the president (Cameron Daddo) with nuclear brinkmanship on "Nikita" (8 p.m., CW, TV-14).

  Ethical dilemmas on "Primetime: What Would You Do?" (9 p.m., ABC) ... Sam and Dean face down Dick Roman (James Patrick Stuart) on "Supernatural" (9 p.m., CW, TV-14) ... "Dateline NBC" (10 p.m.) ... "20/20" (10 p.m., ABC).

  LATE NIGHT

  Jennifer Love Hewitt, Jeff Wild, Kerri Kenney-Silver and Ross Mathews appear on "Chelsea Lately" (11 p.m., E!, r) ... Jon Cryer, Tommy Johnagin and M. Ward appear on "Late Show With David Letterman" (11:35 p.m., CBS) ... Jay Leno welcomes Jenna Fischer on "The Tonight Show" (11:35 p.m., NBC).

  Stephen Colbert, Nick Cannon and Big K.R.I.T. visit "Late Night With Jimmy Fallon" (12:35 a.m., NBC) ... Craig Ferguson hosts Larry King and Anna Chlumsky on "The Late Late Show" (12:35 a.m., CBS).

  ---

  COPYRIGHT 2012 UNITED FEATURE SYNDICATE

  published Friday, May 11, 2012

  'SISTER WIVES' PUTS SITCOM GLOSS ON GRIM REALITY

  -- Is "Sister Wives" (9 p.m. Sunday, TLC, TV-14) the "Hogan's Heroes" of the 21st century?

  Let me explain. In the 1960s, CBS broadcast a sitcom called "Hogan's Heroes" that was set in a Nazi prisoner of war camp. It defied history and good taste in offering a goofy spin on "The Great Escape," where the clever POWs engaged in endless shenanigans and their German guards remained hapless and often kindhearted. "Hogan's Heroes" was enormously popular and ran for six seasons.

  The mid-1960s was the golden age of absurd, escapist TV comedies that took everyday assumptions and anxieties about current events and turned them on their heads. White Southern sheriffs may have been the heavies of the civil rights era, but not on "The Andy Griffith Show." None of the Marines on "Gomer Pyle, U.S.M.C." ever went to Vietnam. And who needed a War on Poverty after the starving Appalachian Clampetts became "The Beverly Hillbillies"?

  Generally speaking, when fundamentalist polygamous sects make the news, it's not a good thing. Too many stories have emerged about fugitive compounds run by violent patriarchs who marry off 14-year-old girls to their cronies. OK, they're not quite as bad as that sick guy on "Game of Thrones" who "marries" his daughters. But you could say they have an image problem, not to mention legal issues. (It should be noted that the contemporary Mormon Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints renounced polygamy in 1890 and denounces "fundamentalists." Polygamy is illegal in all 50 states.)

  Now entering its third season, "Sister Wives" portrays polygamous patriarch Kody Brown as a pleasant if overwhelmed guy with the gee-shucks demeanor of a daytime talk show host. His four wives even assemble on a common couch to complain and kid one another, just like those gals on "The View."

  In the upside-down sitcom world of "Sister Wives," it's the women who wield the power. Kody's just too darn busy finding the right spot to cut down the Christmas tree!

  Despite this whitewashed treatment, a creepy, cultlike vibe permeates the series. At least those wretched Gosselins of "Jon & Kate Plus 8" had people come visit them. In this season opener, nothing ever happens outside of the claustrophobic confines of The Family. Do the kids have any friends? Do the wives have anybody to talk to outside of the harem? What does Kody do to afford the giant cul-de-sac family compound he wants to build just outside Las Vegas?

  As on a sitcom, these basic questions seem beside the point. And much like comedies from the "Hogan's Heroes" era, the weird humor found on "Sister Wives" is a perverse combination of the tragic and absurd.

  -- Happy Mother's Day! Just in time for the holiday, "Notes From the Heart Healer" (8 p.m. Saturday and Sunday, Hallmark) reimagines the ancient fable of the foundling child in the safe and cozy confines of Hallmark movie conventions.

  Genie Francis reprises her role ("The Note" and "Taking a Chance on Love") as advice columnist Peyton MacGruder. You know this is a fantasy when we learn that her compilation of old columns has been turned into a best-seller! She travels to a picture-postcard village to do a signing at a thriving independent bookstore (!) and is surprised by the appearance of her fabulously successful husband and columnist (Ted McGinley), a guy so perfect they called him King!

  After celebrating their first anniversary with Champagne toasts and engaging in yuppie banter about buying a sailboat, Peyton and King are surprised to find a baby at their front door. Little do they know it was abandoned by Violet (Laci Mailey), a fragile single mother inspired by words of affirmation that Peyton uttered during a local radio interview.

  Will the intrusion of a stranger's infant rekindle a maternal instinct Peyton abandoned decades before when she was pressured to give up her own baby for adoption? And can a comfortably middle-aged advice-dispenser live up to her platitudes?

  -- The one hour special "The Grammar of Happiness" (9 p.m. Saturday, Smithsonian) profiles Daniel Everett, a missionary who moved his family to the Amazon rainforest to convert the Piraha people to Christianity. Instead, he was captivated by their culture and became an iconoclastic linguist, challenging prevailing theories about human language.

  SATURDAY'S HIGHLIGHTS

  -- NASCAR action (6:30 p.m., Fox).

  -- Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom star in the 2007 sequel "Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End" (8 p.m., ABC, TV-PG).

  -- "Fish Tank Kings" (10 p.m., National Geographic Wild) profiles extreme aquarium builders. Not to be confused with Animal Planet's "Tanked."

  -- Will Ferrell hosts "Saturday Night Live" (11:30 p.m., NBC, TV-14), featuring musical guest Usher.

  SUNDAY'S FINALES

  -- A winner emerges on "Survivor" (8 p.m., CBS), followed by a cast reunion (10 p.m.).

  -- Prince Charming tries to evade the Evil Queen's clutches on the season one conclusion of "Once Upon a Time" (8 p.m., ABC, TV-PG).

  -- Get ready for a world without new episodes of "Desperate Housewives" (9 p.m., ABC, TV-14), which concludes tonight after eight seasons.

  -- Steve saves Stan on "American Dad" (9:30 p.m., Fox, TV-14).

  SUNDAY'S HIGHLIGHTS

  -- Scheduled on "60 Minutes" (7 p.m., CBS): Drone warfare; a Turkish cleric's influence on charter schools; Gary Sinise's charity efforts.

  -- Marge hosts a celebration for Ned and Edna on "The Simpsons" (8 p.m., Fox, TV-PG).

  -- A mysterious hound haunts the moors on "Sherlock" on "Masterpiece Mystery!" (9 p.m., PBS, check local listings).

  -- Jaime encounters distant kin on "Game of Thrones" (9 p.m., HBO, TV-MA).

  -- Stan takes the initiative on "The Killing" (9 p.m., AMC, TV-14).

  -- Roger scours for new clients on "Mad Men" (10 p.m., AMC, TV-14). Hey, wasn't it odd last week to see Rory (Alexis Bledel) from "Gilmore Girls" end up as another miserable housewife in this show's Updike-Cheever world of adulterous commuters? That would never happen in Stars Hollow!

  -- Alexander goes undercover to hear Savonarola speak on "The Borgias" (10 p.m., Showtime, TV-MA).

  -- Selina preps for "Meet the Press" on "Veep" (10 p.m., HBO, TV-MA).

  -- Hannah's relationship roller coaster on "Girls" (10:30 p.m., HBO, TV-MA).

  CULT CHOICE

  A wife (Simone Signoret) and mistress (Vera Clouzot) conspire to kill their tormentor in director Henri-Georges Clouzot's 1955 shocker "Diabolique" (8 p.m. Saturday, TCM).

  SATURDAY SERIES

  A murder with gothic overtones on "CSI: Miami" (8 p.m., CBS, r, TV-14) ... A hair-raising fundraiser on "Harry's Law" (8 p.m., NBC, r, TV-PG).

  Links to a secret society on "NCIS" (9 p.m., CBS, r, TV-14) ... A client's deadly secret on "The Firm" (9 p.m., NBC, TV-14) ... Vigilantes hinder an investigation on "Law & Order: Special Victims Unit" (10 p.m., NBC, r, TV-14).

  SUNDAY SERIES

  A courtroom hostage drama on "Harry's Law" (8 p.m., NBC, TV-14) ... Tina keeps bad company on "Bob's Burgers" (8:30 p.m., Fox, TV-14).

  "The Celebrity Apprentice" (9 p.m., NBC) ... Peter embraces the tea party on "Family Guy" (9 p.m., Fox, TV-14).

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  COPYRIGHT 2012 UNITED FEATURE SYNDICATE

  published Saturday, May 12, 2012

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